What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
11.06.2025 02:32
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
All the time i was locked up.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Why didn’t Obito confront Kakashi after he witnessed him kill Rin?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I never cut or harmed myself..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My boyfriend won’t tell me his past and it hurts me so I broke up with him what do I do?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I could never make a relationship work though!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
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Who then, do I blame.?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Why is social media so anti-fee speech, and have they become total BS?
Why did i forgive my father ?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But it wasn’t much.
I think the readers, may guess!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Ive learnt so much.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
If my lovely sister sleeps with my boyfriend, what should I do about her?
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I said to her
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
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I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I couldn’t, believe it.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Have you ever been spanked in front of a group of people?
(And it was in our own minds.)
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
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We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I don,t even have a pension.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I write beautiful poetry .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Put me off passion for life!!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
She wouldn,t have been !
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
What did i know ?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I was scared of men, in general
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
As i do to all so called friends.?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I have no regrets .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I was very sick at this time too.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
So, i spoilt her more .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But ive been too sick for many years..
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I waited trembling.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
It was going to be , some day.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Comes on , in middle age.
My life is so biszare .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
My family never makes their pension either.
She loved him until the end.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Was to survive, this bastard.
So whats the point in blame.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
She married twice! .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I was seconnd youngest,
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But, we were locked up after school.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She found it foreign!.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Especially a lifetime of it.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Would this be the day?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
We all went to grammer schools
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Im still living with it.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
She was in good health!
I was 9 years of age.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
This is soul school!.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He knew the spot.
And i lived it daily.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We were not on the streets..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
One cannot live in the past .
When she asked me how she looked .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I will be 64.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
This is how, and why children get BPD.